


Dive In

by deliriouslyshipping



Series: T'Cherik Drabbles [14]
Category: Black Panther (2018)
Genre: Erik lives, Golden Jaguar Erik, I stayed up until 5 to write this, M/M, Shuri salty, as usual, it takes a while, so ignore all mistakes, sort of slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-26 09:29:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14997917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deliriouslyshipping/pseuds/deliriouslyshipping
Summary: “I can’t explain how it exactly started,” T’Challa begins.





	Dive In

“I can’t explain how it exactly started,” T’Challa begins. The room is deadly quiet and it does nothing but cause the nervous bile in the pit of his stomach to become more uncomfortable. Shuri to his right is smiling, accepting, and if he has one, that is more than enough. T’Challa continues. 

 

“At one point, I would kill him for the good of Wakanda, but as he was dying right in front of me, I realized I could not let him die.” The room whispers in hushed voices, shocked and mostly displeased. “I kept N’Jadaka in a hidden facility until his health returned, and then I moved him beyond the borders with W’Kabi.” 

* * *

 

_T’Challa knew if there was anyone who he could trust for the wellbeing of his cousin, it was W’Kabi. Exiled to stay out of Wakanda, W’Kabi was not too excited to initially see T’Challa in good health, but when N’Jadaka was right behind him, his heart changed immediately. W’Kabi and T’Challa conversed for hours as N’Jadaka chose to stay quiet, obviously disturbed by the situation as a whole. If anything, Erik is probably planning his death for even keeping him alive (against all wishes)._

 

_In the end, W’Kabi would house Erik, teach him the ways that he missed, guide him to a lighter path if he possibly could, and then release him when he saw fit. Erik scoffed at the resolution, but said nothing else. T’Challa avoided the hard gaze of his cousin as he released the cuffs with a touch to his beads. Halfway, he expected the man to go ahead and kill him on the spot, but he doesn’t. Erik barely bothers to acknowledge his existence, moving to embrace W’Kabi._

 

_T’Challa coughs, hurt for some unknown reason, then leaves the two of them._

* * *

 

 

“You told us he was dead! You had lied to us.” One of the council members chastises him, but it falls to dead ears. T’Challa feels his choice was right, will stick by it, and he continues as he blatantly ignores the comment. 

 

“N’Jadaka stayed there for around seven months. I did not check on him nor did I check on W’Kabi. Somehow N’Jadaka had found another way into Wakanda, probably one of W’Kabi’s connections, and he came straight for me.” 

 

* * *

 

 

_“What makes you think I won’t kill you right now?” Erik snarls, hand squeezing tighter around the jugular of his throat. T’Challa fights the urge to fight back, allowing him to act. For now._

_“I saved your life,” T’Challa struggles to speak, “and though you_ _did not want it, you now owe me. You know it.” N’Jadaka releases his hand and presses their bodies together. Tension bleeds.  
_

 

_“I don’t owe you a goddamn thing. You think you’re so mighty because you are some Black Panther. Nah, you’re more like a kitten, so fragile,” Erik blows in ear, “couldn’t even kill your own cousin.”  
_

 

_“It would be wrong to kill you. You deserve-”  
_

 

_“No, what I deserve is to burn this whole damn place to the ground and dig up all of the corpses you’ve hidden.” T’Challa swallows and fleets his eyes towards the door of his room. Erik laughs.  
_

 

_“I’m not gonna kill you. You save me, I spare your life. Even.” N’Jadaka moves to the seat in the room and T’Challa catches the glint of the blade tucked into the back of his pants. A breath of relief escapes him because he just slithered his way out of an assured death._

 

_“I got a question for you though,” Erik says as he sits, “you didn’t check up on me. Why?”  
_

 

_“You are your own man. It is not my job to watch you.” The lie weighs heavy on his tongue, but it doesn’t look like his cousin really cared for his answer.  
_

 

_“I could’ve killed W’Kabi, found a way back in Wakanda’s borders, and created a shitshow again, all because you didn’t keep tabs on me.” Erik tsk’s. “That a dumb move.”_

 

_“You wouldn’t kill W’Kabi, you needed him to get back in here. Even if you did, I would stop you again-”  
_

 

_“That’s where you are wrong. I would put this knife so deep in your chest you can feel what I felt and take it out so you have no choice but to die. I wouldn’t save you like you did to me. I would watch you die, so don’t think for a second that you can win a second time.” In all honesty, N’Jadaka is a deadly scary man. The way he smiles as he takes the blade from his pants and just plays with it, testing its sharpness before looking at T’Challa with so much intention. Erik is powerful in his words and his movements. T’Challa barely has time to think of a reply before Erik gets up and in his space again.  
_

 

_“Here is what I want for now. I want a room in this palace and I want to the be the golden jaguar.”  
_

 

_“You do know that the jaguar is-”  
_

 

_“I know what the role fucking is. As long as no one knows I exist as the golden jaguar, we’ll b_ _e fine. And the last thing is, you are going to keep your mouth shut about all of this.” T’Challa scoffs.  
_

 

_“No one but W’Kabi even knows you are alive.” Erik nods hard and turns._

 

_“Hurry the fuck up. I’m tired from sneaking my way in here.” T’Challa wills himself to move.  
_

* * *

 

“This is considered treason!” Another argues. T’Challa stiffens in his seat. 

 

“No. This isn’t treason. Treason is the secret plan that all you have created to overthrow the Outreach program that I have created. Do not think I did not know what all of you have been doing, even planning the last resort of killing me.” The room is deadly silent after that, the truth of their King's unknown knowledge seeping in hauntingly. The room is electrified in the tension placed between T'Challa and everyone else and the story has yet to even be completed. The part in which everyone is waiting for has yet to come, not even close. Time is not of the essence now, not with everyone's attention to captivated in the secret that T'Challa had managed to keep it hidden for so long. He feels the judgement of most of them. He continues anyway, the anger seeping out of his system. 

* * *

_The ritual to promote Erik to the jaguar was uncommon. He had already known the identity of his protector. Despite such, N'Jadaka easily adjusted to the role and claimed his vibranium suit back and fought easily by his side. It was not that simple outside of the battlefield._

 

_In the comforts of a confined room, the two of them could be found exchanging harsh words and insults (mostly Erik)._

 

_"That is so fucking stupid!"_

 

_"I did it in your honor! I am helping those that you would reach to." T'Challa feels his face heat in anger, but manages to keep his emotions in check. N'Jadaka is not so controlled._

 

_"You're doing nothing in my honor. You're fucking trying to help a world that'll take what you give them and ask for more. They're greedy corporate idiots who will just keep taking and you are going to let them. God, you're so stupid for doing this!"Erik shoves himself right up in T'Challa's space, intending to be as intimidating as he could be. Now the effect has wore off on him because T'Challa knows he will not kill him, at least not in this moment. He blinks up at his cousin._

 

_"Are you against a world that hurts people or against everyone who has ever been against you?" The question seeps in. Erik drags a strong hand up to the nape of T'Challa's neck. T'Challa suppresses the shiver that threatens to rack his body with the feeling of air brushing past his ear._

 

_"Both. I want to rid of the world people who don't know their place and I am happy to do it all myself if I need to."_

 

_"N'Jadaka.." T'Challa groans at the increased grip on his neck. Erik looks at him with intensity, noses nearly brushing._

 

_"That ain't my name." His pulse thrums against everywhere on his skin and T'Challa is confused at the way that he isn't scared or anything. He is just waiting. He straightens himself for pride's sake._

 

_"You was born with that name. How would N'Jobu feel about your being ashamed of your own name?" Erik snaps away from him, disturbed. It does not take a genius to realize how he has impacted him with his rhetorical question. Erik is still for a few beats before he is looks up. T'Challa feels guilty from the hurt that is so evident in his cousin's eyes, but he cannot take his words back._

 

_"You have.. no right." He leaves, slamming the door behind him and activating his suit to be away from knowing eyes. T'Challa watches him go with a hard twisting of his gut. He messed up, he messed up bad._

 

_T'Challa finds him later at edge of the same place where N'Jadaka should have died. T'Challa does not approach him and Erik does not know he is there. Or if he does, he completely ignores his presence, which is telling enough that he just wants to be alone. If anyone were to understand the loss of a father, it was him, but he knows well that Erik does not want understanding. He wants to let go and in his head, he can get that through avenging his father's death. T'Challa walks away and back to the palace, heart heavy that he revealed the truth that under all of that anger and strength, there is a small, broken boy who held his dead father's body when a nation did nothing to help him. Nothing at all._

 

* * *

 

 

_After that, it was a slow burn. With the realization that he brought back the severely damaged Erik Stevens, T'Challa had tried desperately to prove that despite what Wakanda had done, he belonged here just as much as the next person. Maybe it was out of the kindness of his heart that he politically tours every square mile of the country or maybe - just maybe - he wanted to do something for N'Jadaka._

 

_Of course, it took a couple of days for Erik to return to him, taking some personal time that T'Challa had expected of him anyway. T'Challa swore to himself it was the sympathy, the guilt embedded so deeply into his veins that he made it his goal to allow Erik to see something good of the place that he hated so much. It took a while, specifically showing T'Challa's favorite childhood hideout._

 

_It was a waterfall deep within the forests. Small, but beautiful, T'Challa can still point out the small hut he had made there._

 

_"I actually got my first broken bone here," T'Challa speaks over the crashing water, "I tried to climb the waterfalls and nature won. I fell and shattered my right arm completely trying to break my fall." Erik looks at him evenly._

 

_"How did you explain that?"_

 

_"I.. I told them that M'Baku did it while we was fighting. Baba actually told me that I should have broke my left." The muscles tense on Erik's face, moving upward into a hint of a smile. Erik shook his head._

 

_"You're a dumbass." The words are rude, but the tone of his voice was not. It was almost is almost joking, lighthearted. That is more of a victory than fighting for his position of the throne against M'Baku. N'Jadaka looks back to the waterfall, crossing his arms over his chest and breathing deeply. "I'll give it to you though, this is beautiful."_

 

_"Yeah," but T'Challa was not looking the scenery._

 

_On their return to the palace, it dawns on him on how much this could've been different. If Baba had brought N'Jadaka back, although he would be mad, he could have grown up with him. They could have snuck out to the falls together and T'Challa would have heard the laugh that emitted from his cousin's mouth as he broke his arm before he moves to help him. T'Challa could have blamed him, just for the heck of it, and Baba would have patted N'Jadaka while advising him to not go around breaking people's bones._

 

_The worst of it is that it could've been. So easily could this tension between the two of them not have ever existed or at least been worked through. This would not have been some attempt to relieve the pain that he had caused his cousin, but a look back on the memories that they could have had._

 

_"You good?" Erik asks while they're walking. T'Challa looks down at his hands, shaking, and place them behind his back solidly._

 

_"Perfectly fine," T'Challa lies as they trail back to their rooms to retire for the night. The thoughts possess him into insomnia and he realizes so darkly as the sun begins to rise into the next day._

 

_There is something, although not defined, felt for his cousin._

* * *

 

"So you established the relationship first?" Shuri asks on his side. No more outbursts have been said in a while and the question kind of knocks T'Challa off of his train of thought. He smiles, small, and shakes his head. 

 

"I was too scared to do anything about it. N'Jadaka is much more bold than I am." 

 

"So you froze again?" Shuri grins wickedly and Ramonda has a brief expression of disappointment for Shuri. 

 

"I do not freeze." He gets a scoff in response and he rolls his eyes, uncaring for the unprofessionalism that he is presenting. 

 

"Anyway," T'Challa begins again.

* * *

 

_"You want me to go with you?"_

 

_"You always go with me," T'Challa corrects, "and I thought you would have liked to visit Oakland again." Honestly, the amount of consideration he places in his cousin is become too much. He can surely imagine his sister's reaction if she were to see and know about this._

 

_"Why Oakland? Why in all places do you begin this in the place where you left me?" T'Challa tries to ignore the question, scrambling the papers on his desk. Erik slams his hand down hard. "Answer the question." He clears his throat._

 

_"I told you already. I am doing it in your honor and-"_

 

_"Bullshit. Are you starting it in Oakland for me? Not about my honor, but for me?" N'Jadaka circles around the desk to T'Challa's side and leans against the Jabari provided wood._

 

_"I do not-"_

 

_"Don't lie to me." He would prefer if he was not interrupted mid-sentence, but this is Erik. He gets away with a lot of things._

 

_"Yes," T'Challa says quietly. Wordlessly, Erik reaches out and spreads his fingers in the tight curls of his hair. He pulls slightly and T'Challa barely moves his head to comply. It was too fast for the King's liking before he pulling away and exiting. At the door, N'Jadaka pauses, hesitant._

 

_"Thank you."_

 

_The next day, they boarded an airship together, side by side. He kisses his mother goodbye and Shuri says a witty comment in place of. He'll take it though. Erik stands by his side, suited and quiet. He bows before the two of them briefly, just like he should. Ramonda walks up to him and places a hand to his cheek. Right now, T'Challa would give anything to see the facial expression on Erik's face._

 

_"Keep him safe." She commands and T'Challa tries to think of what he is going to do in the fear that the rule of the complete and utter hidden identity of the Jaguar will be broken. None of the guesses were correct. Erik puts his hand over hers softly and nods his head firmly. The intimacy of the moment has T'Challa diverting his eyes before his heart catches up with the event and uses it against him._

 

_Ramonda backs away. T'Challa turns and walks to the ship once Erik mimics his movement. The door shuts behind them and they ascend. Erik headpiece comes off and they share another stare._

 

_"Thank you." Erik shrugs as he sits beside of him, reaching into his bag and pulling out a phone._

 

_"For what?" T'Challa wishes he could feel the gratitude that he wants to explain, but he doesn't. He adjusts himself in his seat again and closes his eyes, attempting to get some rest on the way there. For some reason, there was a certain person that has been invading his dreams for the longest, but he does not have the confidence to do a thing about it._

* * *

 

_The premiere had gone off without a hitch. The amount of youth that had attended, waiting outside the building just to see a glimpse had T'Challa's heart swelling. He could not see Erik's face, but he had hoped that he was happy._

_In an impulsive move, he allowed the kids in. The reporters and distinguished members were confused with his actions, but the kids sat in the floor as he spoke. Erik was behind him and to his right, body rigid in a disguised defensive position. After his short speech and some weird American tradition whenever they "open" something, the kids had ran up to Erik._

_"Why are you dressed like that?"_

 

_"You look so cool!"_

 

_"Can I touch it?"_

 

_T'Challa tries not to pay too much attention, not when he is conversing with very important people who is his ties to Oakland, but he catches the way Erik goes down on a bended knee in front of the group of children. The gold of his suit shines against the light of the room, and Erik speaks._

 

 _"I have the_ coolest _job in the world. It's kind of like being a bodyguard except I get this awesome suit, like a superhero.." T'Challa smiles and turns his attention back to his conversation, nodding his head along with the senator. When he looks back to N'Jadaka, he is looking in his direction, and T'Challa tries to not smile. He fails miserably when a small girl is tugs at Erik's hand, bringing him down to whisper in his ear._

 

_There is no simple way that this cannot affect Erik the way that it is affecting him._

 

_At the hotel room, T'Challa requests for Erik to see him after he settles. Their room is jointed, so Erik just walks in, shirtless and wet from shower water. His mouth goes dry and Erik smirks at him as he sits in his seat._

 

_"What's up?"_

 

_"I, um, did you enjoy today?" T'Challa's eyes are attached to the beads of water dripping down his chest, avoiding the raised skin and flowing down the clear of his body. It is entrancing. Erik coughs and brings his attention back._

 

_"I did, actually. Those kids were all over me, thought I wouldn't be able to get to you if you got shot or something." N'Jadaka was concerned for his life or the danger of the room? T'Challa remembers that this is his role as the jaguar, so he forgets about it._

_"They loved you." Erik hums in reply and stands._

 

_"So why did you really call me in here? I know you didn't tell me to come in here to talk about if I enjoyed myself."_

 

_"Can you see the good that this does? They didn't just love seeing a gold suit, but we are giving back to them." T'Challa swallows to accommodate for the dryness of his mouth, the hoarseness of his voice. His cousin is placing such an affect on him, his mind can't formulate a solid coherent thought._

 

_"Yeah I see it. You are doing a lot of good, and a lot of people are still against it, but I can see what you are trying to do." Erik runs his hands through his growing dreads and steps closer. "Now that the weird conversation is over with, are you going to kiss me or what?" T'Challa's heart halts for a split second._

 

_"Wh-what?"_

 

_"You keep looking at me like you want something, but you don't do anything about it. Am I just reading this wrong or do I have to do this myself?" N'Jadaka crowds into his space and T'Challa takes a tentative step back._

 

_"I-I thought you wanted to kill me."_

 

_"Oh yeah, I wanted to. Then kept trying to make up for your father's mistakes and I realized why you was doing it. You did all of this shit for me, and all of this just to make up for your dad killing my dad? It didn't make sense. I figured it out, though." Erik steps up again and T'Challa does not move backwards. A hand is gripping the back of his head again, pulling him in._

 

_"So am I reading this all wrong?" T'Challa shakes his head._

 

_"No," and T'Challa presses their lips together. Erik's grip tighten and tugs them flush against each other. He opens his mouth and Erik is fast to lick into his mouth, exploring the cavern. T'Challa's hands move from the hard planes of his stomach to the small of his back and leads them both to the bed. The soft of the bed is forgotten completely with the way N'Jadaka looms over him, hands placed on both sides of his head as they kiss more intensely._

 

_"Are you going to regret this?" T'Challa asks, breathless._

 

_"You'd have to ask me in the morning." A protest lies on his lips, but it is swallowed up by the mouth of N'Jadaka, along with every other thought that occupied his mind._

* * *

 

"So you two have had an secret relationship since Oakland? That was over ten months ago!" 

 

"It makes him quite good at his job, actually," comments T'Challa offhandedly and Shuri snickers beside of him. 

 

"This is.. outrageous! You have lied to Wakanda for a very long time and it will not stand." A elder of the mining tribe exclaimed, pointing a finger accusingly. 

 

"You are right. That is why all of Wakanda will know. Not so detailed, but they will know that he is alive." Whispers spread across the room again and Shuri just gives him two thumbs up. Ramonda smiles in his direction. 

 

"Where is he then, brother?" Erik pushes the doors open then and he walks in. His outfit is traditional royalty clothing, a rarity. The robe similar to his reflects the light in the room and he smirks at everyone in the room, just like the first time he met the elders. 

 

"Did you already tell them?" T'Challa nods and N'Jadaka strolls in the middle of the room for everyone to see and stands at his left, proud. T'Challa lifts one hand up and his lover takes it, kisses the back of it. The room goes quiet again, watching the intensity of the eye contact between the King and his protector. 

 

"Can't believe you told them before I came. 'Sup Princess." Shuri hides her middle finger from everyone else in the room, but Erik smiles at the motion. "Queen Mother." He bows and she nods her head. "Everyone else." 

 

"You cannot do this. This is wrong." Someone in the room says and Erik glares.

 

"I did a lot of bad shit, I won't lie, and I don't expect all of you to forgive me. I don't even expect any of you to accept me in this country, but I am going to be here whether you like it or not. I do not live by your laws and my role as T'Challa's protector gives me the right to tell all of you to kiss my ass. I'm here and I am not against fighting any of you if you have a problem with me. I'm right here." The elders shrink away and N'Jadaka smiles. "That's what I thought." 

 

"Hold on," Shuri starts, "you've had in my lab and I didn't figure it out, then you kept him hidden from everyone? This is an outrage!" There were murmurs of agreement and Shuri speaks again. "I am supposed to be the first one to hear this! This is so unfair." T'Challa shakes his head and Queen Mother does the same. 

 

"Is this all?" 

 

"Nah," Erik moves into the middle of the room, "I know you don't like me and you don't like what your King is doing with the Outreach, but let me find out y'all trying to kill my man again. I'm not as diplomatic as your King, I'll kill you and add your mark on my body. I don't care about your lives, none of you did shit for me." Shuri moves up to T'Challa. 

 

"Hey, like no judgement or anything, but he is sort of dramatic." T'Challa looks at his sister and shrugs. 

 

"He likes his speeches and I just let him do it. He means it. Hasn't lied about anything yet." Shuri hums and flicks his forehead. 

 

"That's for not telling me first." He rubs at his forehead as she moves back. 

 

"Best believe that shit. Now you can go," Erik motions to the door and they scramble out fearfully. He sits on the armrest. 

 

"What did you tell them?" T'Challa asks as Shuri and his mother wave goodbye. 

 

"I told them how I would cut their intestines out and let them watch as I pull-" 

 

"Okay, that is enough. You are horrible." Erik laughs.

 

"So I've heard." T'Challa grabs at the front of his robe and pulls him harshly, connecting their lips. Nearly eleven months and it still feels the exact same, and T'Challa doesn't think it will go away anytime soon. N'Jadaka pulls them apart, intertwining their fingers.

 

"So when are we going to tell them we're courted?"

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys did not know:  
> *The identity of the Golden Jaguar is not to actually be revealed  
> *Anyone can be the Jaguar if the meet the qualifications  
> *There has to be a type of bond between the two of them  
> *They do not have to follow any of the laws  
> *They are specific to one person. They do not protect Wakanda or the throne, but the person  
> Learned that online btw (aka tumblr)


End file.
